No 148698
by BravaCharlotte
Summary: The antiseptic smell and impersonal white walls and tiles always reminds me what I've done.I am a monster.


**AN: This is a one-shot that I just got an idea for this morning.I'm rather pleased with this piece.Pretty angsty and dark,but thats what makes this great.Hope you like it. **

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or characters.

The antiseptic smell and impersonal white walls and tiles always reminds me what I've done.I am a monster.

"Edward,are you ready?",Alice asked softly,her hand on the handle to a metal frame door that read 'No. 481698'.

I started at the brass numbers and then look blankly at her.She opened the door as slowly as possible and I braced myself.My tongue ran over my lips and held my breath.Behind the door revealed plain room drenched in so much white my eyes ached.We entered as slowly as we had opened the door,that cold fear hanging around us as we surveyed the room.Then we saw her...

"Bella?",Alice's voice quivered sounding close to tears.

I remained still and stared at the woman sitting by the window with a canvas in front of her.She did not respond and was sitting still in her chair,a palette in one hand and a thick brush in the other.Alice,being the one with more confidence,stepped foreword and dared to place a hand on her shoulder."What are you painting,Bella?",no response."Are you trying to paint a pony?"

I would have laughed if we weren't in this situation.I came up behind her and got a good look at the canvas.It was completely blank and Bella was making strokes with the brush though it had no pigment,she was frowning at it.The bandages wrapped around her head covering half of her face made my chest restrict painfully."Bells,babe,you don't have any paint on your brush.."

She paused for a second then continued.Alice gave me a stern look,"Are you painting fluffy bunnies?Yes...that dose look like rabbit ears..",it annoyed me to know end how Alice was treating her like a child right now."Bella,you don't have paint on the brush.",I repeated lightly.I reached over for her hand and pushed the bristles of the brush into red paint that unmistakably looks like the blood that my hands were covered in,my mouth went dry,Bella's blood.

She shook my grasp off and then smeared the red across the canvas and continued to make the designs she was tracing over before.Alice gasped,I wasn't too surprised,Bella painted a stick person laying on the ground and a monster with sharp teeth hovering above the person."Bells...Bella...",the canvas was beginning to be filled up by a red sea of blood,but she left the stick person sinking and drowning in blood.It makes me wonder if she can actually still see,but I'm positive that isn't possible.

_'Blood..?Blood,blood,blood,blood,blood...!'_,I couldn't hear at first,even though my hearing is more advance than any human because I am vampire.She somehow turned to me,grabbed my hand and with the brush painted red all over it.Alice was choking on air her eyes wide with fright,"Stop it..Stop Bella..",when she was done she took the brush though still holding onto my hand,and smeared it all over her face.

_'Edward...Edward...it hurts..."_,I don't remember what happened then,all I remember is the blood and Bella just laying there cradling her head in her arms.

_'Why,Edward,why,why,why,why,why,why?'_,I couldn't answer her and she started shaking uncontrollably._'Why did you do it!Please,please,tell me Edward...' _

"Edward I think it's time to go now..."Alice trembled backing away from us._'No!No!Stay Edward,stay with me!'_I couldn't move,I couldn't free myself from the suddenly strong grip.With my free hand I placed it over her face and she moaned not moving away or towards the hand,_'Edward..?' _

I'm a monster."Sorry,Bells.",I pushed her back wards away from me.It always ends like this and it wasn't fair.Her grip on me slipped and she and the canvas crashed to the floor.Besides the canvas on the floor the bottle of paints laid and the bottle of red oozed out and looking from above,it looks like shes laying in her own blood.It looks like I reopened those wounds again,no,no,It looks like I dug in deeper and made them wider.

"What are you doing?!",it was Bella's nurse,she was carrying a tray of medication and bandages and it clattered at her feet.I could hear her thoughts as clear as day_,'Every month he comes in and causes trouble!He's her boy friend isn't he?!How could he do something so cruel!?'_,because I am a Monster.Bella was cradling her head and I looked down at my hands,covered is red paint,but to me I hurt her again.

_'Why,Edward,why,why,why,why,why...why?!'_,she was clawing at the bandages,her voice filled with agony.  
_  
_"Because I am monster.."

I fled from the hospital as quickly as possible.I wasn't sure where I was going,but I always end up at the same place every month,and Bella would be waiting for me there in the meadow.'_Welcome back,Edward'_,and I would inside myself for what seems like years until Alice comes with her hand out to me and she says,"Come,it's time to visit Bella."

And it starts all over and I am reminded of just what I have done.

The receptionist looks up expectantly and smiles sympathetically,"Good day Cullens,Isabella's just doing well.Shes in her room painting."

I simply nodded and Alice leads me to the room labeled 'No. 481698'.We stand there staring at the door as if we weren't sure how to open it,Alice clears her throat and looks at me,"Edward,are you ready?"

I'll never be..._  
_


End file.
